Q. How to determine the difference between Confidante, Constituent and Comrade?

The are 3 types of relationships that come in and out of our lives: confidantes, constituents, and comrades. You often heard it said, people come in and out of our lives for a season.

No matter how much we may love summer it has to eventually make room for fall. It's served it's purpose. Whether we admit it or not, we're all guilty, at some time in our lives, of holding people hostage to being our friend. Holding on to them longer than we should out of fear of feeling abandoned or desire to be liked or with the in crowd.


"If someone can walk out of your life, 'let them go,' they are not tied to your destiny." TD Jakes

As kids, we desire more than anything to fit in. Nobody wants to be a loner, so we do whatever is it takes to be liked and included. In doing so, however, we often mix up relationships, categorizing them in places they shouldn't be, then are left saddened, disheartened, bitter and angry when people move on.

3 Types of Relationships

Confidantes: friends that love you unconditionally. They stand with you through good times and bad times. Dream with you, push you, embrace you, motivate you, and inspire you to be a greater version of yourself. They are intertwined with your destiny. They're the Jonathan to your David, the Ruth to your Naomi. You'll only have a few of them in your lifetime.


Constituents: They are not into you per se, they are into what you are into. You share common likes, visions, even missions, but when the mission has run it's course they move on. That moving on often leaves us heartbroken and discouraged because it's easy to confuse these for confidantes, but remember they were never into you. So instead, be thankful that they were in your life for the cause, then let them go.


Comrades: They are not into you, neither are they for what you are for, comrades are against what you are against. They are in your life to fight against a common cause. They're who you need in your life for battle, but when the victory has been won, they move on to the next fight.


If you find yourself stuck in hurt over relationships, try re-assessing them, accepting them for the blessing God intended. If someone can walk away from you, let them go, they are not connected to your next stage of life.


Naomi, Ruth and Orpah. Naomi loved them equally and had poured everything she had into them both. But when Orpah chose to walk away, Naomi hugged her daughter in law, kissed her and let her go. She wasn't angry with her or bitter that she chose to leave, rather she cherished in her heart the good Orpah had brought into her life and moved on. Orpah had served her purpose in Naomi's life and God was shifting her inner circle. When someone can walk away from your life, let them go, they are not tied to your destiny. God will never use something you've lost to fulfill His purpose in your future. It is a pruning, in preparation for the next phase. It is God saying, I'm going to use what you've got left.


Stop holding people hostage to what you want them to be and accept them for who they are.


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